The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Shamus Baran
The Booth
This is a short (only 1,700 word) story I wrote as an exercise.  It's a first-person expansion story about a woman that goes to an experimental booth to reduce her breasts.  Don't worry-- it has a happy ending.  ;)

I'll admit the main reason I'm posting this is to communicate that all my stories are Microsoft Word Documents.  (.docx)  If you're dumb enough to try and open one in notepad and expect it to work, good on you, but don't downrate my stories because of your own stupidity.

If you don't have Word, you can convert the story with free software or upload it to Google Drive.   If you don't ant to bother with conversions you can also read my stories at .

Thanks -- SB
Average Scores:

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I'm not down rating you for anything technical, or even your story. I'm down rating you because you're a grade a dick.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 1

Does not open in Microsoft word for Android - it can't open digitally signed files. Is it really so hard to export as txt or even rtf? Many authors include multiple formats inside the zip file because they know readers don't all use the same hardware/software.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

couldn't open it. file is corrupt or something. upload a readable format next time

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

You could be the biggest douchebag in the world and I wouldn't care, as long as your writing is good. People are WAY too sensitive these days and I don't really approve of how they allowed their perception of the writer to effect the quality of the story.

My review? Story was ok. Simple, effective, fun, if not somewhat rushed towards the end. I enjoyed her reactions and the deviousness of the machine. The plot was anything but special, but still worked for what you were going for. Anybody saying that his grammar or spelling was off, I really didn't see it except maybe once or twice? Overall, not a big deal.

Don't let the image of the creator ruin the pieces they create. Billy Corgan is an utter dick but the music the Smashing Pumpkins makes is great (at least their early stuff anyways). So...yeah, that's really all I got to say about that.

But Shamus, dude, appreciate what your audience does. You have some great potential as a writer, but you gotta get your head out of your own ass if you really want to make some progress.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I was going to read your story, until you turned into an asshole. Enjoy the bad reviews! ;D

Daichi Azure
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

@Shame-us Bear-an you are not the author of this piece.

The story was quite enjoyable. Also

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

Perception means a lot. Don't antagonize your audience because we'd prefer you put the very minor effort in of exporting your story into a universal file rather than not doing so. You chastise us for not having the free software, but even Word it's literally one extra click to create it into a .PDF. With as little BE as there is out there, I'll be purposefully avoiding all writings with your tag. A real shame, I genuinely liked this story and your Boob Note series but there was little reason to initially post and then react in the manner you did. This story is fine for what it is, certainly no masterpiece.

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 4

1. Not nearly so bad a story as these horrid reviews led me to believe. I'm pretty picky about grammar and this didn't bother me. Not a lot to it (literally no characterization) but you told us that up front.

2. What. The hell. Posting on a public forum you are literally asking for review. As an author there is no greater reward than feedback. And here you are literally making fun of reviewers. You spent some time coming up with that goofy language because, what, you think people are threatened by your writing ability? Don't get me wrong - you're a better writer than I am, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't frighten me or anyone else. Nor does it have anything to do with morality (or 'morility' if you prefer). This has absolutely nothing to do with your original posting and everything to do with the way you handle criticism.

Shame-us Bear-an
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Derp! I'm a rebiewer! I'm gonna gib dis all ones because I thought the writer is an asshule.

And den Imma gonna try ta stand on de moril hi-ground like I'm da best writar ebar! Lemme throw in some vague writing shit so I kin sound smart and impurtant without offerin' a singul example of my critixisms.

I'm deffo not just sayin' stuf cause I fil threatined bai his writin' skilz. Dis is hundert percent opinonions.

Miss Lany
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

1. The story was okay at best. It had a promising premise, but like most of your stories, it wasn't fleshed out in any meaningful way and all BE was delegated to a single paragraph or two before a sudden and abrupt ending. Any potential in this was quickly forgotten.

2. Don't be an ass. We as readers hold no obligation to you and if you don't like what people are saying because of your formatting, complaining about it will only make you look worse and no one will want to read your story. It is not bullshit or unfair, it is people reacting to what you put out, and people aren't gonna like it with your tone and attitude no matter what you write. Better luck next time.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I feel like I should add an honest rating after all this bullshit below.
I liked the story. The BE description fell apart a bit at the end. I'm not really sure what happened and I would have loved to know, but it was still enjoyable. Character description was sufficient, given the length of the story. I can't be 100% sure as a non-native english speaker, but I found no flaws in style or grammar that would distract me from the plot.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Clearly the other reviewers are reacting to the author's tone in his description, because this story (just like all of his previous efforts) is great.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Why don't you go ahead and never post here again, k thanks?

Your mom
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

If you are an ass to your audience, why would they want to read your story? I read it before I read your comment, though. It didn't change the fact that your story was awful. You need to work on grammar, capitalization, usage, etc. I feel like you didn't go to English 101.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Don't fucking disparage an audience before they read a story. It already puts the reader against you. Don't be an ass. Also, write better--use proper capitalization and usage rules to allow sentences to have meaning. Fiction writing means you don't need full sentences. But fragments are.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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