feeshta@gmail.com
This is a updated version of my recent story, hopefully a bit easier to read. I headed advice on paragraph structure, and I did also change a few minor details upon re-reading it myself. I would like to thank everyone for all of the feedback. I am humbled by how well it has been received, warts and all. I'm sure it's still got some issues, but as they say, nobody is perfect. Wish there was a way to respond to you all here, but I have started posting it in sections over on DA. If anyone cares to swing by and offer their thoughts there, I could answer questions etc.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.60
- BE: 4.60
- Characters: 4.60
- Technical: 3.80
Zak
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story, would love more sex but still thoroughly enjoyed it.
Mooky
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 1
This is an unreadable wall of text. Do not ask your readers to jump through hoops to read your story. Some of them won't.
sexualassistant
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Just want to say, this is the most well developed main character on overflowing bra.
Athseef
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Well, I really didn't want to do this, but it seems this is the only way. It will not allow you to submit comments without a rating. I did try that, but no luck. So, I rated exactly as you did in order to avoid changing my rating. When I get time, I will go back and see about the spacing etc, but it might take me a while. I ran into a slight problem with auto-correct that made a real mess, which took up most of my time. As far as DA, I'm not sure why my name does not come up with a search. I tried it and had the same result as you. Maybe it takes 24 hours before it is added to the database or something? Anyway, my DA profile should be at athseef.deviantart.com/ Let me know if you have any more trouble finding it. I had to post the story in a number of small chunks, as they have a 64K size limit on text for some reason. Thanks again for the feedback. :)
Petsinwinter
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I admit I only skimmed through the first few pages because I read the first version already. The paragraphs, from what I saw look much better. The biggest problem I see now is the random double spaces you've accidentally typed into the middle of sentences. I saw them early on in the first version, too.
Also, you can put in your own response right here in the comments. Where can I find you on DA? You didn't say in the summary and a search of your name didn't give me any results on Google or DA itself.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
