The Overflowing Bra

I am honored to be name-checked as inspiration, and I am very happy to find another author who creates well-written long-form stories. I am very much looking forward to more. One of the most enjoyable reads I've found in this genre in quite a long time.
Personally, I like the stories that are not focused on sex, and you did great with the long, slow build and nearly continuous growth, and glad to see lactation included (much like the works of Cheviot, whom you did not cite - check out his stories if you're not familiar).
Yes, the formatting needs work. 
Again - looking forward to more.

This is one of the best stories I've read in ages - if you work on the development of the female lead a little it'd be the best on the site.

I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this story. One of the best that I've read in quite some time. The premise was well thought out and the pacing was perfect. Other than the horrific paragraphing details, the story was pretty well written for undergoing no editing process, as the sentence structure seemed very sound and read well.
As someone previously said, you really should have someone else with better grammatical skills do some fine tuning to your future stories before you post them. In fact, I'm in the process of doing that to this story for my own future enjoyment. If the original author would like to see the finished result, he may email me at jgasparini@yahoo.com. I'll leave it up to him on whether my edited version will be shared with others.
I truly hope you keep writing in this genre, as you have a true gift for telling a wonderful story.

An interesting story that makes me want to read more, but yet technically it is awful!
As many of the others here have said, your use of paragraphs is not good. Each great block of text is intimidating because it conveys the feeling that it is all part of just ONE idea and kind of generates the idea that it should be read out in just one breath! -Gasp!-
Generally speaking each block of text describing speech from one person should have it's own paragraph and each new idea should have it's own paragraph too.
That is'nt a hard and fast rule and here is not the place to fully explain why, but if English is not your native tongue then get someone to proof-read it before posting.
Please don't take this criticism to heart, your ideas are fine but think on this: Good punctuation will make a good story better, and a better story great!
Keep on trying, and power to your elbow.

I just finished this story. It was well written enough that I loved reading it despite the terrible paragraphing.
In addition to all that's been said on the technical writing, you used the word "betrayed" way too often as if it just meant "showed." If you use it in that sense, it should mean that the feelings were revealed despite what the person is trying to show.
Also, and I'm surprised no one said this sooner, you need to make a distinction between narrative and dialogue. Generally one uses quotation marks, but I won't tell you how to live your life.
If you're writing more stories, and I hope you are, it'd be wise to hire an editor or at least a proofreader. It might be hard if you don't like criticism before you feel a work is ready, but it always helps to have another person catch mistakes you might otherwise miss.

This easily stands with the best stories on this site

A one-sitting read took nearly 3 hours, I did not want to stop!
What's a next part going to entail?

Super fun read.  Congrats on such a great first story!  Looking forward to more.

My thoughts on this story are pretty much the same as Miss Lany's; this is a great story with an interesting and underused premise, but is hindered somewhat by issues with paragraphs. I'm not sure if your usage of paragraphs could be considered technically 'wrong', but it's certainly not what you want if you plan to keep an audience's attention, and the slow build-up to the expansion and action - which is otherwise good, mind you - already gives you a bit of a disadvantage there.
The dialogue issue that Miss Lany mentioned is fortunately one part that I could at least give some concrete advice on. A general rule of thumb is that when a different character starts giving dialogue, start a new paragraph. Take one of the paragraphs where you're giving descriptions or a sequence of events, then a conversation starts. For whoever started the conversation, say Alan, move his first bit of dialogue to a new paragraph; whatever the next character, say Jenny, says in response, move that to another paragraph, and so on. It makes things much cleaner, more straightforward, and just easier to read in general.
Please keep writing; I'd love to see what you come up with if you continue at it.

Very good, please make more :)

Incredibly enjoyable

The story could've really used paragraph breaks. A story can be a little less pleasant to follow when it's just a series of giant text blocks, especially when dialogue is thrown into the mix. Having so many details also made it harder to parse through thoughts without pause in this style and is probably something to avoid in the future.
The actual story itself is pretty good though. Everything is nicely detailed and handled well enough to get into after a while, and it's a fairly neat premise that I don't think has been utilized all too often. I wouldn't object to more stories in the future at all.

Excellent, I like the slow build and attention to detail, reminds me of the old Sadira stories.