Jade and her friends are confused about the sudden "growth spurt" of Destiny. Maybe they'll find out what exactly is going on...
Hello all! This is the first story I've written. Hope you all like it and that it isn't too cringey :P
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.50
- BE: 3.17
- Characters: 3.00
- Technical: 3.67
tsokei
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
I liked the events for the combination of kinks, but character depth and lack of expansion description quantity kept it from being a favorite. Still a good entry and promising sign for any future work you might try.
Miss Lany
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
The premise here is definitely a promising start, and you seem to know what makes for a fun BE story, but your writing could use some practice. Splitting up dialogue would be a good start, instead of having large blocks of multiple characters talking in a single paragraph.
My biggest complaint is the lack of any real plot. It starts somewhere but then the little bit of setup is completely abandoned so you can end on a big sex romp, which makes the story feel mostly pointless and not much else happens,especially with the story as short as it is, but it's got stuff you can easily work on in future stories. Good luck with them!
givememore
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
one of the best story I've read here for a long time. love the craving for big boob on early age thing. but I would have prefered a slower grow so that would be more growth description.
still, a story that invloves a girl with naturally growing boobs would be great.
please continue writing like that
NoveKeuran45
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
(Disregard the score, I'm not scoring my own story :P)
Since this place doesn't have a reply system...
deux_anges, thanks! This is my first story, so I'll be sure to take that on board.
Abnon, I get what you mean. I wrote this about 2 months ago, and after revisiting it yesterday, I did find it a little cringey :P
Thanks for the feedback guys! I'll be sure to put this in my next story!
deux_anges
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very nice. One of the better stories I've read recently. Would have liked a bit more description of the breasts and growth, but nevertheless it was good.
Abnon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I actually loved that it involves younger characters, and since there's no illicit sex involved it doesn't really break any rules. Personally I'd love to see a story where a young girl grow rapidly due to a puberty or something, but really hates and struggles with it.
The descriptions felt a little strange, I'm not sure what it was about it... and the characters weren't quite believable - I mean, we all like boobs, but the characters with the boobs probably don't feel quite the same way! A bit more realism (aside from the obvious growth) and we might be onto a winner!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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