The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

MysteryGuy9215
English Expansion
The main character finds a book that can control women's bodies.
Average Scores:
 Daichi Azure
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4 
You need to work on the length and the dramatic effect of a drawn out change can bring to the reader
 Qprime
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2 
disappointingly short, and something went screwy with the file corrupting all occurrences of quotation marks, but beneath that it was a nice start. Would love to know what happens next!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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