The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Ghost of Christmas
Heavy Pay
[BE] [PE] | 5 pages | This one has been laying around for Trixielle Lunare to check for 2 months, however she's disappeared. | I checked this myself the best I could. I did try to find a replacement editor but failed | I hope that this inspires some better authors to upload their stories.| Enjoy if you can. 
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I liked the story and concept. Actually I like most of what you've uploaded but, as a lurker, saying anything is against my nature.
The reason I am breaking my silence is to volunteer to proofread for you. I'm a native English speaker from across the pond. If you're interested my email is and we can talk about it, see if we click and such.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Wasn't bad, and you did a decent job with the proofreading. Definitely keep at it.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

The absence of your editor really made an impact on the overall quality. I enjoyed it enough, but it's very fast, and the relationship between the two main characters is a turn off for me the it's worded now. Did you mean to imply they were "like brother and sister" or actually are? Incest just isn't a thing to me...

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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