The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Blue Light
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

Not terrible, but very simple. If you could draw this out more--description, characterization, etc-- it would be great.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

You need to do some proof reading. There are a few technical errors.

Characters are undeveloped. You begin with a foundation of characters that turn out to be unnecessary in the long run. You could either skip all character development (and back story about them), or finish what you started.

You have a lot of opportunity to go in to detail about BE. You actually shortcut the BE numerous times, basically saying "oh yeah, it happened 4 more times... " Sorry, but the BE stuff should never be an afterthought.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

Lots of telling, not a lot of showing. A description of a plot, not an actual story.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: