The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

SSK (Silent Soul Ken)
Pleasure Island Ch. 1-3
Because I forgot to add 1 and 2 for the premise... Naruto is a pilot and Hinata an heiress to a powerful company. When a trip to home goes wrong these two must survive a island with unknown flora and fauna. Can they get off the island fast enough to go home? Can they manage to work together long enough to achieve the goal?
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

why did you abandon the story huh would like to see how it ends

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Less Naruto, more grammar.

Jason G
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I've never seen any naruto stuff (i just know it's some form of anime) but the story is written well enough that it doesn't matter that i haven't. That said, this seems to be a great into to what promises to be a great long form story. Sometimes sentences turn into runons or repeat themselves, but it's still much more readable than some other stuff on here. Looking forward to the next installments!

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

This would be so much better without the Naruto theme.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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