The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Roaring 40s
Another story, more of a situation. Bonus Mind-control at the end, but still should have some fun. ~ of tittilation still in effect
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Any and all complaints of mine are just nitpicking with you, seriously. Every short you've written can and should be expanded (no pun intended but I did chuckle to myself after reading this again).

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Agreed, don't take me too seriously, however, I'm pretty sure that it should be 'Roid' , instead of 'Road'.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Don't take anything seriously from the guy who can't tell the difference between 'Road' and 'Roid', because clearly he can't read. This story is amazing and basically perfect in every way. I love how every code is essentially a bra size and that such lame ways to describe size were withheld 'til the very end. The characters are all real, plausible, likable in their own way, but seems like everyone is a nympho ;] That's true of the real world too, people just hide it, so I don't mind at all because even the sex was believable in location and execution, not just anywhere, everywhere, anytime and with no consequence.

I've never given a perfect rating, but this certainly deserves one.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I agree with Roid, an enjoyable read. A little too reserved in some ways.
I know you're a big fan of XXXecil and so am I. He tends to go over the top.. and I don't mean on size.. he pushes the envelope on eroticism. I'd like to see you do it too.. don't hold back.. go for the gusto!
As I've said before, you've got great constructs for your settings and mechanisms. Your characters are realistic and funny. I relate to them immediately. But they are almost always in control of themselves. Your secondary characters and "bad guys" sometimes lose themselves.. but not the primaries. Push them harder.. threaten them, overload them with sex until they can't think.. dizzy them with expansion and make them susceptible to perversion! They don't always have to do the right thing or the good thing... around here, we like trouble.
I agree with Roid that too much of a good thing can be bad.. but let them learn that lesson. Cream that makes you bigger is great.. but there should be harsher consequences. Perhaps you get bigger, but dumber, or hornier, or perhaps you grow extra boobs, or extra dicks.
But most of all, take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Road Abuser
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I very much liked this story. I especially like the reasonable plausibility of the situation and the character development.

I enjoyed the MPG, and liked how it was kept reasonable, as well. For some things, too much of a good thing is too much.

It did seem a little rushed and there were some interesting plot lines that dropped --- did I catch leg growth of one of the short sailors? Where was that?

A shoot out with the asian guy falling into a vat of muscle growth serum would have been interesting. Or better yet, the whole lot of them being soaked in it.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Good work. Thanks for writing!

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Another wonderful story from you as usual. Besides the grammar and spelling nitpicks, good work. The pinyin for thank you is xie xie though. Perhaps you could turn this into a mini-series?

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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