masterxodin@yahoo.com
Jin is a young witch casting a ritual in the basement of her house. What powerful magic is she using and what toll will it take on her body? A quick and to the point story about expansion with audience participation! That's right, readers will be able to adjust some elements of the story themselves :)
This is a prologue story to the upcoming Magic School stories that include voting to shape each installment.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.00
- BE: 3.42
- Characters: 3.42
- Technical: 3.83
littleone
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This is really an great idear form your =)
eekee
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
The choice system is a great idea, but what are CB and AS? :]
Anyway, I thought it well-written, and being a pregnancy fan most of all, I loved it. <3
Jason G
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Neat trick with the "choose your own" customizations. This story worked best making all the choices up front (though I had to go look up CB) - the traditional "choose your own adventure" style wouldn't have worked here.
Overall, good story, though a bit short. Lacking detail on the actual expansions except for the hips - that one had some better detail.
Definitely shows promise for the future. Perhaps some mpg or combination type transformations for the next ones?
Lovely
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very nicely done. I'd definitely read the rest of this series.
Darkoath
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
It wont generate story it just shows the choices i have chosen what do i do?i have clicked all options.
Recluse
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Fantastic! I wish more stories were like this. I'll have to come back later and see how much the story changes with the choices you make...
Thomas Reed
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
The reason you probably couldn't see a story, allenb1969, was that you didn't make the choices at the start of the HTML. I didn't get a story without all of that. I'm a little down on the story, not just because the girl's motivation and character and intentions were so vague, but because...well, the things we voted on should be the choice of the author. We pick the elements we want by picking the story. A "custom story" like this is a cute programming trick, but not good for authorship.
Anony-mouse
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Would love more description. I understand it may be hard with this voting format. Oh, and by the way. The voting was an awesome idea! Loved it.
ARGYLE
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fucking awesome idea for presentation. Do more!
allenb1969
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
It would not display a story for me. Any ideas why that is?
EntropySmiles
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Loved that it was choose your own adventure and that it actually did make a difference what you picked. Overall, this seems like a good start, but I'd love to see more.
deus
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
There were a few misspellings/typos in the story, but overall it was pretty good technically.
I loved the pick-your-parameters functionality. I read through the story with two different sets of options to see some of the changes. I can't wait for the next one. My main request is that it would be great if it were longer!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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