Originally the first part of this story was titled "Magic Man". After posting it here and receiving the response I re-edited the original first part and completely finished the story by adding two more parts and an epilogue. The hyperlinks in the first part were removed in favor of descriptions as requested. Format was changed to PDF, from that of .docx, to help expand the readership base.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 4.33
- Characters: 4.67
- Technical: 4.17
FOW
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
The best story on the website
Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
This story didn't grab me in regards to eroticism. However, Jason's thought processes were very real to me; he's a real down-to-earth person, and therefore, more believable.
lazulichris
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I started for the BE and sex and finished it for the story. Nice writing. There are a few editing/spelling mistakes but not to the extent of disrupting the reading (I'm sensitive to that type of thing).
Phill
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Probably the best BE story I've read.
majiklover
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Everything
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I read the original story you uploaded here and loved every second of it, indeed I remember thinking that I really wanted to see the world Jason was off to create.
This submission completely blows the original out of the water, and with a healthy obsession for just my kind of fetishs along with a brilliantly original story, this is one of my favourite entries on here.
This is a rare thing, but like Egg's "The Tale of Our Isle", the characters and scenes you've created will continue to stick in my mind just like a good story should even though literary smut rarely does.
Thank you.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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