The Overflowing Bra

The first story that made me stop fapping to get to the conclusion quicker, it was THAT good. As some others have remarked, the grammar and spelling could use a bit of work though :)

Some grammar issues, but honestly one of the first stories I have read on here that I had to read from start to finish.  I like your writing style, and you had a story that hooked me.

Very good

Fantastic, except for grammar.  Great work!

as stated before:
A. Everything was undeniably and unbelievably fantastic.
B. There were some grammatical and spelling mistakes.
The story was excellent, was hoping for even more.  Story follows a good flow with no long dull moments and not too much all at once.

Tons and tons of spelling errors and yet this is still one of the best stories I've read here.  It's almost as if the story was written intentionally to be as good as possible with as many spelling errors as possible.

Yeah the spelling was a tiny nag, but the true mark of a great work is that with out the major description on the sex the story is still among the very best that I've read at least on the "small" scope. I have read both this and "Becoming" twice, the second time skipping over the sex and a great deal of the expansion and I was still blown away. Keep up the amazing work.

One of the best stories I've read in a while, and certainly one of the best BE ones. I empathized a lot with the characters and got a full display of emotions from them, even starting with a slightly trite bag of commonplaces, but even in chapter one there're lots of moments to love.

Great story.  One of the best I've read in a long time. At times, though, I had to stop and think about what was trying to be said and who was saying it - New line required when a quote begins for a different person.  Well written except for a handful of misspelled words and misuse of homonyms (Their instead if there or they're). I feel an editor would truly enhance you work - which again is quite good - all that much more.  As was said in other comments, you've got the hard parts down...now it's just getting the little things covered.
I didn't want the story to end and felt that the ending was a bit rushed in comparison to the rest of the story.
That said, I very much enjoyed it and can't wait to read more from you.

My general consensus;
A. Everything was undeniably and unbelievably fantastic.
B. There were some grammatical and spelling mistakes.
Having said that though, the mistakes that were present did not detract from the experience of reading the story.  I was blown away by the story and I want to thank you for posting this work.  I will be awaiting any future work and want to applaud you for a job very well done.

Stories with storylines as good as this one are incredibly rare these days.  While the sex scenes got rather repetitive, the characters were deep and likable.  I never expect to laugh at anything in the stories I find here, but I found myself doing so a couple times while reading this one.  Like others have said, the spelling and grammar need a lot of work.  But overall you did an excellent job!

Dude loved the story you have to write more either a sequel or another story!

Grammar issues... also this was very very long!

A great story but not so hot with the grammar, as others have said.  Most of the mistakes seemed to be with homonyms, nothing a good proofread can't fix though.  There were a few missing or misplaced apostrophes as well, like using "common" instead of "C'mon".  Other than that, keep up the good story writing. I demand MOAR! :)

Spelling was average, characters were freaking awesome, b.e. was plentiful and well done on the verge of fantastic, the sex scenes dialogue became a bit repetitive, and the story was 'godly'
I loved all the in-depth soul searching involved in this story.  The morals, thought processes, and especially Chuck who had an almost heroic stature despite how ordinary he really is.  Frankly as far as non-b.e. elements go this was probably the most in-depth 'story' I've read in some time that wasn't professional or main stream.  Thank you for posting this.  It's been a pleasure reading it and I look forward to future stories in your established world scape.
Oh and the ending felt a bit weak/rushed; it was almost like you just had to find Some Way to wrap it up.  Not really a complaint so much as a critic.  Everything after the hotel room seemed to happen in a flash; for instance I would have really like to have at least heard the devil's offer.  :)  A more detailed description of the wedding would have been nice too.  That's just curiosity getting the best of me I suppose.  My personal bane.  Much like I can't help but imagine what their kids were like; especially with their mothers powers.  Probably twin girls.

great work

Thanks for the feedback I gave a bit of a "shout out." on the forum even answered a question that was posed on here. Quick synopsis, I agree with grammar and punctuation and it's a definite weakness I have to address. Don't agree so much with spelling, I give an explanation as to why on the forum. Other then that, thanks for the feedback.

I have to say, there are so few stories like this that are any good lately, I'm glad I took a chance on this.

Story always wins of spelling but spelling (and punctuation and grammar) do count. 

Story concept: Fantastic!
Spelling errors can be fixed easily; story concepts are an art that takes longer to perfect.  You got the hard stuff down, now it's just being careful of the little things.  Sometimes we as writers forget this.
Characterization: Marvelous.
I think others here have made the point clear.
Technical: They've said it too.
Here's the take away point:  You got the DIFFICULT stuff down pat, you just have to work on the easy stuff.  It comes with practice.

only minute infinitesimally small detractor would be spellin  

I loved the use of an otherwise dark character that was in essence good, a classic writing twist. That said, just a few problems that could be fixed with a spell-check program or a re-read. I did notice that often as other people mentioned a few dozen times in the story. I also loved the conclusion. I won't spoil it for the rest but it deals with a very unique circumstance. Again, love it.

The story was very good, but as everyone else has said, pay attention to the spellchecker. The two most commonly-occurring problems were use of 'their/there/they're,' and 'its/it's.'
I wasn't expecting a 69-page story from a newer person, but it's a very good start.
(By the way, how does the title relate to the story?)

Awesome story, but get an editor! Correcting all those grammatical and spelling errors would improve this story a hundred fold! 

Your basic ideas are sound, but you really need an editor going over your work.  Don't be afraid to ask for a little help in polishing your style:  once the technical details fall into place, everything else will look that much better.  

Grammar needs a lot of help.  But holy crap what a great story.

A good story, but please brush up on your writing skills!  Numerous errors in apostrophe usage, grammar and punctuation did much to spoil the enjoyment of reading your story.  For example:
"Standard obligatory, if your not old enough you shouldn't be reading this warning."
"Other then that I hope you enjoy it."
"..., filled with several avid readers sipping their coffee's and enjoying the simple joy of a good book."
"A portrait of the owner and establisher of this little coffee shop, and even a painting of the coffee shop, itself on a busy day."

Very imprssive style all the way around. Good job.