pakled05@hotmail.com
I'm back. Always been an admirer of XXXecil's work, so I thought I'd take a trip through the Faephobia universe (after checking with him, of course...;)
Here's a little something, on how it all might have begun. Have fun.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.45
- BE: 3.55
- Characters: 4.27
- Technical: 4.36
ExpanderGut
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I really enjoyed your story,it was easily read and understood.Keep up the good work.
deus
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Pretty good story. As others have noted, more description of the changes would be nice. Also, it could've been a little longer. Overall, very good though! :)
pakled
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Wow...well, this factored in a few things;
1) The breast size bit; there's a running thread over in BE Archive about how everything seems to be alphabetic characters, fruit, or sports equipment. Thought I'd try to convey the expansion without being tied up in details.What else is there to compare them to? It was sort of a challenge. Actually, the fae show up fairly flat-chested at first, or we wouldn't have any BE...;)
2) as for spelling and grammar; mea culpa. Everything gets run through both a spell check and a visual check, but sometimes I miss something. It's a constant battle.
3) as far as a sequel, I'll need to check with XXXecil; it's his universe, I only stopped in for a visit. Technically, the entire series of Faephobia stories is the 'sequel' to this, so check 'em out, I recommend them highly.
I'm working on another story, but it could be weeks before it shows up (too many prying eyes that would want an 'explanation', if you know what I mean. It's similar, in that it's fantasy, but I've got to get the actual plot out of the way and map some serious fappage...;)
Thanks to everyone...
Bezare1
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Great story ! puts a begining on the return of the Fae. Thanks!
Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I love a prequel. It's nice to know where how this great series started up.
hargle
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Oh man, it's great to read some Faephobia again after all this time.
A few things I'd like to mention though, is that you didn't really describe the size of anything very well, be it the breasts, belly, or penis. You merely noted when a change had occurred, and this is insufficient for the sort of story being written.
Speaking of story and expansion, the idea of beauty with regards to breast size in the 1500s was that a flat chest was preferred! Knowing this, you could have introduced the Fae with flat chests, and have had a more thorough expansion scene once they found out that bigger breasts were considered better now.
Also, I loved the part with the zipper. IMO, they should have stolen his pants to take back to the queen, or something like that.
I really hope to see more from you on this. What happens next? I happen to know of a particular Fae professor who might be a good subject for a sequel...
Horseradish
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very well done and fits properly with previous author's universe. A couple spelling errors. The descriptions of the expansion was not as much as I hoped.
oxxnard
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I liked this better than the originals
A_Non
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very nice! I enjoyed what was present, although the story itself seems a bit short; I would personally like to see some more tie-ins to XXXecil's Faephobia universe. Technically very good, though there were the odd errors. More please :)
deux_anges
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
A good start. I'm glad you decided to continue on the Faeophobia universe. I like the writing style and descriptions. The references to old middle English and Queen Mab were good too. However IMHO, not quite enough BE or belly expansion.
Maybe there will be more in future installments?
four_shot
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
I liked it...it's nice to get a little back story. I really dig that sort of thing.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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