shadowgod780@yahoo.com
This is my first story. i don't care if you don't like it and no i didn't really proofread it like mad, but i used spell check. anyway i hope you enjoy it. it's about a guy who pisses off a gilr get transformed into a girl. breast and butt expansion is there. wait for part two. there will be more . . . enjoy!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.13
- BE: 3.25
- Characters: 3.25
- Technical: 3.00
pnb
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
overall a good story wheres part 2
Genoharden
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Not terrible, not great. Simply a TG story that may spark some male interest. More descriptions and details would be much better though for part 2!
cartoonishbimbo
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Loved it - whens part 2???????????????
Maybe you make her bigger since she enjoys her new look so much, kinda like a parody of her dream girl
Memo
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
your story is promising and ok...but i am gonna deduce points
for lack of description (not one mention to cup size or size in numerals) the first part of the stry was abit fast paced and needs to add more grammar and structure
apart from that good work
Duuude
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I liked this very much. I'm looking forward to more!
Anonymous
Overall= 2, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
The sentences were short. They were all very similar. They reused words a lot. They were hard to stay interested in. Nothing really happened. I was bored.
PyroWildcat
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
You at least put a little more effort into grammar, spelling, and such than some people, but, as it is now, it makes it a bit harder to enjoy the story. In addition, the sentences were pretty choppy at times.
The transformation scene was decent, but you should put a little more effort into describing the changes instead of just saying that he goes from one state to another.
The post-transformation scene was, in my opinion, the high point of the story.
OmniTrixie
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Consider your lack of caring matched.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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