sonicbland@aol.com
After a passionate night with a young man in her neighborhood, Mary wakes up to find her tiny chest has developed into a huge, neverending milk factory. She needs milking really bad...not to mention hot sex from the very same young man.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.33
- BE: 2.78
- Characters: 3.33
- Technical: 4.44
Zohtt
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story. Short, but not too short. I prefer it when stories get to the point and don't go overboard with set up. Would have been a nice addition to have a scene where she was experiencing the growth.
Very Free
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
This is really a chapter, and all four 'parts' should be combined into one document. Surprisingly few mistakes, but a few wrong words. First 'part' ended rather abruptly. Anyway, keep up the parts, but combine them.
rhoode
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Straywolf
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
It was a good lead in and got me hooked. Definitely left me wanting more.
mechfan9
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Kisame17
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Too Short!!! Needs a sequel.
joce37
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Though hardly 'real-life' it carried me along so I was readily able to enter into the fantasy and enjoyed it very much indeed.
Merkava IV
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
This is more of a scene or short than a story. That said, I likeed most of what I read, though useing letters for size (something I have been guilty of too in my early works) is not so good unless you can put it in a context. Further more, all the BE was off stage, which means that for all intents and purposes, there wasn't any, and certainly no detail into their growth. The characters seemed good, but it's a five page story, with almost two pages of erotica in it... how much can you really develop a character in five pages with out using 6 point font? Not much. Technically I saw nothing wrong with it, which is good.
Over all, I would like to see more of this, but it needs to be fleshed out... also, just for the record, I would think that most highschool jouniors know the difference between a B and a D cup... Areola the size of CDs would take up most of a D cup breasts surface area... food for thought.
durpadurr
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
The low scores are primarily due to the brevity of the story. It was well written and to the point but it was quite simply too short.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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