The Overflowing Bra

If this is not the best thing you have ever written, then why post it?  You could have at least described the Anime characters in more detail... I might have gone out an looked for a copy. 
Word showed that the spilling was good (minus a few misused words Their/They're) so its not grammar garbage. The problems were: run-on sentences, the need for proper use of paragraphs, and the over use of the word 'as'. 
To bad I would have enjoyed reading a BE story that involved beef-ca-bobs, or anime monster schools with vampires.  

Meh, it doesn't really matte what any of you think, though I do agree this is one of the worst things (if not THE worst) I ever wrote. I apologise for its lack of quailtiy, I would try again if it was not for the fact that I refuse to post any more of my storys. 

*sigh* I like the series, I don't like this story. Barely two paragraphs, poor writing, poor grammar, poorly thought out.

Im sorry but this story was pure crap. You cant write, you cant proofread, so what do you expect me to say?

How was this even accepted? It's just a paragraph, and not even a remotely good paragraph at that.

What a flacid, useless story. F-

Where is the -1 option?

It seemed really rushed.  Show, don't tell the story - Help the reader to see exactly what you're seeing.  Don't tell every exact detail, but don't just push words around.

I completely echo the previous anonymous.  I'm glad that you're interested in writing BE, but a couple tips:
-Triple check your grammar.  If you have ongoing grammatical issues it will distract the reader from your story.  If you honestly can't see your mistakes, find someone to proofread it.
-Don't use someone else's characters unless they're particularly well known in the BE community.
-Include actual BE.  Random growth with no real reaction or impact on the story is kinda pointless, as is a lack of description.

Wow. This is... crap. Sorry. Absurdly short, it's not even a scene, it's a paragraph. Here's the entire thing: There's a girl, she squeezes her chest, and she has bigger breasts. That description, however, is likely more erotic than the entire paragraph that you wrote. Grammatically bankrupt, creatively dead, and obviously written for someone who is intimately familiar with the characters in the anime, this isn't worth downloading for even the most desperate BE fan.
And "vampire romance novella"? Christ, you're no Stephenie Meyer, that's for sure.