The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Happenings at BEU
When a college student named Alex recieves a gift of growth, he doesn't anticipate it to spread. Things grow out of hand rather quickly, quite literally. This is my first story of the BE variety so comments good and bad are greatly appreciated.
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
The story has interesting segments and ideas, but no continuity. The characters get lost in the action so I didn't know who was doing what to whom or why. I quit in frustration half way through. Also really long paragraphs are a turnoff and hard to read.
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

There are no words to describe how bodcaiuos this is.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Yes there were some spelling and grammatical mistakes, but I don't think that took away from the story at all. I have to agree with the poster below: so many of life's problems can be solved with simple communication. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened in that scenario...may be next time

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Very readable, only a few mistakes and awesome story idea. There is confusion from my part on why Helen becomes suddenly crazed for no real reason except she was left out. Why doesn't she talk to the others first?

But I was really hooked while reading, just couldn't stop reading and never wanted the story to end.

Very Free
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Over 60 P & G errors, some making sentences incomprehensible. Viz. worn instead of warn, peal instead of peel, and two that seem to be made by many authors, loose instead of lose and taught which should be taut. Some of these make reading it a real laugh.

Take the advice of others here. Do a double and triple check a few days later to see if you understand your own writing.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I really enjoyed your story! Good descriptions of growth and I enjoyed the dialog. Looking forward to more happenings at BEU.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

A story getting 'out of hand' requires a skilled author to keep the plot from becoming irrelevant. The more the story goes into the realm of fantasy, the less it resembles reality. I got the feeling toward the end that it was impossible for the characters to keep their lives down to earth.

The other problem is a tension between two types of bodily growth. You include a gratuitous amount of muscle and bone growth, yet you are conservative with breast growth. Now, some stories effectively use that level of BE. However, when juxtaposed with the increased strength and body size of the characters, the most powerful transformations eclipse BE and make it seem minor.

Compared to other entry-level stories, this is a remarkably skillful rendition of BE literature. I urge the writer to focus on:

When composing, try to put yourself into each of the character's shoes. Would you do what you are writing for them if you were in their position? You most likely have a robust character in mind, but the written rendition probably does not live up to your imagination. The more you write, the better you will be able to tell what you have not told the reader. You need to know what you need to say before you can figure out how you want to say it.

That strategy will improve the plausibility of not only the line-by-line reading, but also the believability of the overall plot. You obviously want to write an epic, but the story moved from the mundane to superhuman proportions waaay too fast for me to take it seriously.

Oh Sai
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Great story! I liked the BE, it wasn't overly overdone albeit it did feel a bit rushed as I started losing track of the characters (reading it again did help to figure out what was happening to whom, plot-wise).

But one question that begs me to ask. You mentioned a "Helen" near the end of the story. Now, would this be a throwback to the old "Healing Hooters" story written by WKLSDDCL?

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I Liked it. Very good for a first time. I disagree with anonymous I enjoyed the dialog at the end, but I also want a story with my BE. There were things that I could pick at and give it a 4 but based on the fact its your first it's worthy of a 5. Keep it up.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I enjoyed it very much, and would like to see more. The growth sequences were nicely detailed without being too elaborate. I hope you decide to write about more happenings at BEU

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Two complaints: 1. Not a lot of BE 2. Trying too hard with the dialogue at the end.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: