Photojournalist Landon doesn't know what makes some things happen, but they certainly start to when he and his longtime girlfriend finally get to third base. Soon neither of them fit their clothes very well, for different reasons. Good, wholesome BE and MPG.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.29
- BE: 3.57
- Characters: 4.43
- Technical: 4.00
Prophet Tenebrae
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Overall a sound story... but I think you made the almost endemic mistake of all male-centric stories involving PE as well as BE. While Beth spends a lot of time off-stage... we've got an abundance of our protagonist talking about his growing dick but not really a huge amount about Beth's growing breasts. Given the narration style and the delayed growth, that wasn't going to be easy but it was far from impossible to fit in and makes the centre rather too phallocentric. Sure, there's nothing wrong with a bit of PE but let the girl have her day in the sun too.
The exposition at the start also seemed pretty much pointless, you finish up by going "it could have happened for any reason", if your narrator is so ambivalent about it... it rather undermines the mentioning of the power plant - especially as it has no baring on the story.
CMP
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Amazing... really amazing. Like someone else said, just needs a run through spellcheck, but wow, that was hot. Well done.
Delta
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Very, Very good. Look for to more of the same.
FlashBigger
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Awesome! A truly enjoyable read from start to finish
OmniTrixie
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Pretty good: just needed a run through spellcheck.
G-man001
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Nearly perfect! A little too much off-stage for my tastes, but truly great story! Using one of my favorite transformation methods: semen!!!! Liked all your stories, please keep writing.
Wild Card
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I liked the story alot, easy to follow, great writing style.
I like the way how the story started. Hope to be reading more of your work.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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