Hi, some people said I should have let the charecters in my YearEleven story be explained, and seeing as Ben is the only charecter who will be in each and every story I decided to write a story that takes place a year BEFORE the Year eleven storys, thus explaining Ben's charecter and why he makes girls breasts grow.
I think this is longer then the last one but I am not sure. I also edited the background and the font so that it is easy to read.
Once again please leave some feedback or I'll never imrpove.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.00
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 2.50
- Technical: 3.25
Julianne
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
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Cozzie
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
I like it as much as the last one, but could you try to make it longer than a half page??
Alucard
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
OOOh its read instead of red, I always got confused beacuse my freinds keep telling me its red instead of read...then again the english spell things diffrently to the americans, like in the USA you americans spell colour as color.
But still thanks for the comment
Hotstuff
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
In context red is read. No explaination necessary to Americans about school systems. Describe Ben. Good story line and excellent grammar. As we Americans say " Keep on trucking". Good job.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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