Please don't be too unkind as this is my first attempt at a story.
May be the start of a series of storys, based from the hellsing anime and manga series.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 1.80
- BE: 2.60
- Characters: 1.40
- Technical: 3.20
Rope
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Full of slianet points. Don't stop believing or writing!
Alucard
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Well its supposed to be in parts so why her breasts expand will be explained in part 2 to 3.
Incase I never manage to get round to writing the other two parts I'll just say why they grow now.
The closer she gets to blood the more her breasts grow. Thats why I had her black out before drinking blood.
Apple
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 5
Yes it was short. However I applaud your creativity. It never occured to me that a BE could be made from this series (probably because of how huge her breasts were to begin with :-P.) I would suggest that you revisit this story and expand the character descriptions both physical and personal. Not every one will have seen or read the series :-/. Also please take your time with the BE scene. Allow the reader to enjoy it ,-) . Also if you could better explain why the BE happens that would allow the reader to get into the story more. Keep up the good work. :-D .
b.e. girl
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
That guy
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
Good start, but much too short. You could have elaborated more on WHY her boobs were growing, and maybe you could have done some better interactions between her and her master.
Keep writing though. You'll get better.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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