The fourth installment of the Adventures of Andy and Amanda. A lot happens in this section.
I have to thank Musette for editing, and all of you for reading my stuff. The story wraps up in the next section.
Only one thing I ask from all of you. Don't comment if you aren't brave enough to leave a name.
Thanks and Enjoy!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 3.88
- Characters: 4.38
- Technical: 3.88
royal
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
You should not be allowed near anything human... not even earth. You should get on a space shuttle and keep going.
Aaron Horner
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I hope you release the next section soon, it has been a really long time, and I can't wait any longer. I loved this story, and I look forward to see how it ends. Thanks for you hard work, keep it up!
Killjoy
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Pretty good, apart from the PE stuff.
Like the last guy, I can't wait to see the end of this.
Jason G
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I have a few quibbles about typos or using the wrong word here and there (ie: there/their/they're) like when the cops emptied all "there" bullets into Natasha (should be "their")... but your storytelling abilities are awesome, and make your story a real page-turner that I don't want to put down. When you do release the final installment, people will be sad because it'll be over... It's been a fun read so far!
buddyu
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
This is a story that i can realy enjoy. I want to know what hapent next.
TheEggman
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Why, oh why - why is it that with stories like this, where the heroes get power that makes for great fun that is essentially harmless, it is so hard for them to NOT get noticed by some evil force that is intent on destroying them? Some of my favorite stories suffer from too much antagonist interference - "Rhyme Master", Hell-Scythe's "Power", this one - can't evil let the down-trodden geeks and bookish mousey blondes have their happy endings in peace?
Seriously, you're making me care about the characters and their happiness - this is a good thing. The eroticism and transformation bring me in, and your epic storytelling keeps me waiting with bated breath for the final installment. Bring it on!
CrashOverrid
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Holy crap, it's like some sort of epic high-quality porno in literature form. It's really really great and I'm glad to see more like this. I do have one major complaint: Contractions.
Whenever you use "I am" and "I'm" in the same story haphazardly, it throws me off. Breaks the completely enthralling nature of the story. Be consistent - if the character says "I am" for a reason, make sure you emphasize that fact.
Also, be a little more generous with paragraph breaks. A giant block of pure description really gets monotonous.
Other than that, hurry up and finish it!
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Wow, EPIC story! I cant wait to see the end to this.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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