A man obsessed with big tit porn becomes what he obsesses over..
Average Scores:
- Overall: 1.89
- BE: 1.61
- Characters: 1.61
- Technical: 1.61
artdiv
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
Good start, but the technical aspect (grammar, punctuation, tense, flow etc.) need some work. I suggest a beta reader, if possible. The plot is good, and the structure is good as well. I hope the negative comments haven't discouraged you from writing more. Next time, just read over your story before posting, or get a beta reader to do it. Good job on your first attempt at writing!
Compera
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Wow, so many bad comments. I, for one, found this to be the weirdest, most disturbing thing I've ever read in my life...
And I absolutely loved it!! -has issues-
PS: The rape made me laugh so much. I don't know why, it was just funny as hell.
Guest
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Looks like it was written by an illiterate 3rd grader
Anonymous²
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Completely unreadable. Consider a remedial English class.
TwiTwi
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
I didn't read it past the first paragraph. Your sentences are horrible!
They lack interpunctuation.
MGH
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I don't know what it was but I realy like this story.
abitstrange2997
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 2
Story needs some work. Being a BBW CD it is basically my all time fantasy. I say keep working at it. The story idea was hot.
HeliumGirl
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Robbi, this story could have been sooo much better. Don't be childish about your negative ratings -- remember that you posted all 1s yourself, when you had the opportunity to post all 5s.
aryanman
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
...................weird......................
Genoharden
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Well, I think the story had potential, but it was narrated in such a... bad way. Perhaps if it was a 1st-person narrative. But the one thing it needs is details. Imagination can only go so far.
And bad reviews are a part of life.
Slack
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Hey, Timothy, maybe they weren't exactly polite but you did ask for comments by posting it here.
Robbi
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Thanks for all the negative feedback!
If there's a moderator to this great site please pull all my stories,
it's clear that I suck at writing.I hope that these words don't send anyone into a frenzy because they're not perfectly written to your liking. Did I spell any thing wrong,did I dot my I's and cross my T's,are the periods in the right place,do my commas need to go some where else. Oh no I'm so scared to post this comment, my life will come to a horrible end. WHATEVER JUST REMOVE ALL MY STORIES THANKS!
Squishy
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
More like the brief outline you'd write before writing the story itself.
joe
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
It's an interesting premise but it's very clear you can't write very well. Learn how to use the period at the end of your sentences at the very least.
Chase
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Claren
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Badly written. No characterization. Awful grammar.
Anonymous
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
*yawns*
i agree with av.. ive read stories like this so many times before..
av
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
maybe just not my type of story but ugh
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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