The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Nudas Veritas (Part I)
Genetic Research takes a strange and dangerous turn in the U.K.  Ordinary citizen, James Brisby meets Beth Hurly, a mysterious character who takes James in her home, only for him to end up going underground outside of London for reasons out of his control.
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

A very good start. No actual BE here but I like the way in which you hint at what is to come.
Easy to read, spelling and grammar very good, but you repeat a few phrases here and there for example the conversation about Dolly the sheep appears to have happened twice, the wording is slightly different but if you read it quickly, it's almost identical.
I am also impressed at your knowledge of the inner workings of the UK research establishment. Perhaps you should put in an acknowledgement that this story is funded by the BBSRC/MRC/RCUK! :)
I look forward to the next installment.


Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Great idea!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very well done and interesting ,anticipating more

Overall= 5, BE= 1, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Like orange said - very few grammatical errors, which makes it very easy to read. I like your writing style - great imagery and a style that makes the characters realistic and likable. Too bad there was no actual BE in this one. And this doesn't sound like the kind of story that would have it, but PLEASE don't sully this great start with incest in any future installments!

orange 123
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

aside from some quotation erorrs it was very well written and i can't wait to read more

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very high quality writing style, the story is starting up nicely and I would love to read more.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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