Day 3: James and Sally finally get together. James learns a lot of new insight on how his powers work. Finally, James meets Ming’s mother.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.63
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 4.13
- Technical: 4.00
booyah
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
hope the 4th installment comes soon
buddyu
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I like it i want to read more
Bill Pratt
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
Overall
Fire your editor.
BE
The Growth is hindered by use of raw numbers rather than actual description. Basically, they grew. Yay.
Characters
Like-able, but I've some problems with the history teacher and Ming
Technical
Spelling mistakes, average grammar usage, and a two page long paragraph--Yipe!
On the actual writing quality, pretty decent. The pacing is good. Description gets garbled at points. For example, one minute Sally's cock is inside some girl and the next, it is rubbing against the ceiling. That's got to hurt the poor, wee lassie stuck in the middle.
myobpolo
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
your writing has improved greatly. tho some of you descriptions of the action seems rushed to me. keep improving. I love your stories
Ouroborus
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Amazing stuff, this series is shaping up to be one of my favorites. I really can't wait for the next chapter to come! Keep up the good work.
Td
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Excellent stuff!!! I want more! ;)
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I am REALLY starting to like this story! The bathroom scene with sally was very unique and enjoyable.
pickle
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Yeah! Another chapter!
Very interesting continuation of the plot. I'm eagerly waiting for the next part!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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