The Overflowing Bra

I am a huge fan of this series and after reading this one, I never felt this swollen in my life. I only wish that this was real. Check back with the grammar and spelling and you could go places.

This story has a great start, and shows loads of potential... It could go off in so many different directions it's not even funny.  I noticed one or two small spelling or grammar errors, but it wasn't enough to substantially distract me from the story itself.  Keep up the good work.  I eagerly anticipate your next installment.

Please post the rest!  I really like the story basis.

perfect

gave me a big stiffy

I liked it. Too bad you've done so little, I hope you actually finish this.

Alright.  Where's the rest of it?

yeah just post the whole thing

Not bad, I'd like to see more. Could use a spell and grammar check, or maybe a third party to edit. 

I really enjoyed it, but the silly stuff like spelling needs work, or maybe just a 5 second spell check. I look forward to reading the rest of it.

I'm not sure what happened folks, it's taken 2 trips through MS Word's spell check. Sorry about the Grammar, I'm southern..;)

It's a great start. I would suggest taking your time with descriptions a bit more. I liked the descriptions of the women in the club but we never revisit any physical traits you've established so there doesn't seem to be much point to them.
Keep working, you've got a solid beginning!

I'm ready to read the second part...great story line!

This has potential. I haven't read a story about a fantasy-granting Dick before, I'll definitely give you that. Complete, and with some tuning, this should be a winner.
The BE read like an afterthought. It happened instantaneously or mostly off camera, used cup sizes as the primary descriptor, and didn't add much to the overall story--erotically or otherwise. Pop your head into the forum; there are several threads stuffed full of advice on how to expand breasts when all you have is words.
The main character is likable (a plus in my book) but bland. Future chapters may evolve the guy, but that's hard to tell from what's been given so far. It's hard to get a decent read on the progression of a character with a story fragment--part of the reason I tend to post complete stories.
You may have injected too many characters into the story right off the bat. Peaople will have some problems with the large number of relatively faceless females. Most will no doubt be porn fodder, but it helps the reader if you can issolate the important cast members early. I get busted for screwing this up regularly.
I won't harp on the spelling errors because that's been beaten to death. but with the technology available, it's inexcusable to have so many blatant errors. 
Formatting: the file looks like it was written in a plain text editor, pasted into wordpad, and saved off without correcting for the linefeeds added by the text editor's word wrap. This makes the story look annoyingly disjointed and harder to read. Presentation can be more important than actual technical skill so some time needs to be spent here as well.
The grammar was good enough for me, or the errors (*excluding a couple missed commas) were blotted out by the annoying formatting. Hard to tell without correcting and re-reading.
In terms of style, the story flowed and the dialogue was human. Damn fine job on this front and hauled the technical rating up to two from the normally automatic one that comes with multiple spelling errors.