This story is dedicated to Amandda L., who's been the inspiration for much fantasy in my life. That said, this is the story of Amanda, a novice wizard, and her adventures with it and a fellow college boy named Andy who she's got a thing for.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.36
- BE: 4.14
- Characters: 4.29
- Technical: 4.14
me
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
You make me want to vomit
maDmanDy
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Anyone want to know how old I was when he got the inspiration for this trash? Heidi-You should send me an email... We have a lot to talk about.
AmnDDaL
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
HI,
This is a long shot.
Please email me if you get this.
I miss you
Mandy
Karenjenk@hotmail.com
Hargle
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
You have likely already realized this, but "there" refers to location, "their" refers to possession, and "they're" refers to "they are"... your story left this little tidbit out. A few compound words were separated as well.
The breasts, pre-expansion and the penis, post-expansion(I actually found myself trying to see what it would look like on myself if it went out that long, using my own arm XD) had some of the best detail I have ever seen... Good description on the sex, but a bit lacking in the description of the breasts'(see what I did there? Put an apostrophe after the S in a plural which uses an S at the end to imply possession. This wasn't a problem in the story, but why wait for it to become one?) expansion, and it would have been nice to know about some of the details in the final form of the boobs. For instance, how did it effect her nipples? How far out did they go?
All in all, this was a superb story. It wasn't an epic with BE attached, and it wasn't some "made you to make you jack off and nothing else" flick, but a fun, entertaining, even identifiable story... I wish to stress that last part. I was able to mask myself into the character of Andy; imagine myself in the role. This is the absolute first story in which I was able to, and even compelled to do so! Great work; I will waste no time in getting to the next segment.
IceOwl
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This story is damn sexy. Please continue.
Fox
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great in every aspect, if only every story here could be that great.
Slack
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Liked it, liked everything about it.
tales
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Liked it, I wait and hope for the next part.
befan
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
truly excelent work, i cant wait for the next one
chose_bine
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Hurry up with the next part :-)
k
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very good. I look forward to next part
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Aside from a few small grammatical/spelling errors, this really is an excellent story, and I can't wait for the next part! Maybe using the magic on their hands to give themselves abilities to change without the liquid magic...
amandda
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I enjoyed it because you made me a part of it.
you have written some wonderful stories and this one is no exception.
thank you!!
anyway
smoochies
mandy
coder4freecode
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This definitely warrants the next chapter. Very good.
it's = it is. Most of the time you use "it's", you're wanting the possessive of it, which is its. Pronouns do not use apostrophes to form their possessives (it's not "she's" or "her's", but "her", for example.)
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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