The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Grenshaw
grenshaw500@yahoo.com
The Night Shift (restored)
Average Scores:
 Toymaker
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2 
I REALLY liked the self-controlled aspect, it didn't go as far (character-wise) as it might have. A bunch of passive voice, and not much real reason for the uncontrolled expansion (I kept wondering why she didn't just turn it off?) that I could see, and the story turned out to be not quite as enjoyable as it might have been. Good first effort; kep writing. 
 DarkHeart
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3 
Not badly written, it just seemed to lack substance.
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