The Overflowing Bra

The author deserves for the monument:D

This is much better formatted than Amelia. Now that it is easier to read, it is easier to proof. Here is the first paragraph with Isabel with the easy to fix stuff pointed out.


	Early the next morning as the cleaner Isabel a young Spanish woman entered Betty’s house[comma] she noticed that a few things were amiss. For one thing[comma] Betty’s boyfriend[apostrophe]s car was outside and he was no[no space] where to be seen,[two separate thoughts - use a period or a semicolon] he NEVER left his car outside the garage if he wasn’t planning on using it that day. Also the amount of mess left littered was bad even for Betty’s standard! For one thing[comma] there was what looked like a ripped top all over the downstairs hall and ripped trousers in the bedroom!![multiple exclamation marks makes the writer look stupid] Well[comma] she couldn’t complain, after all she was paid by the hour![this and the following sentence should be one sentence - same thought] And boy did she need the money! As soon as she got enough money for a caravan and some supplies[comma] she was hitting the road,[semicolon] she couldn’t stand this town for much longer! It was as if no one in the town trusted one another! As she began to clear the mess[comma] she saw that Betty had left her lab open,[period - new thought] now this was yet another curiosity Betty was mad about science and she spent most of her time concocting weird substances and fluids. Isabel walked towards the door and peered in.[the preceding sentence does not actually answer why Betty would leave the door locked] Betty had told her never to enter the lab, and usually it was locked.[but this one does, swap the two sentences] However here [was ]the lab was[no was], the door left unlocked and with no one in the house. Isabel’s sense of duty and curiosity fought and curiosity won.[this is good] Isabel crept into the lab [period]

I enjoyed the story although it was short and needs some punctuation work.  Keep going with this series.

Good stuff.
I'd like to see Betty's boobs absorb more people so she gets bigger still. Maybe Isabel?
Please continue the story. :)

keep writing its good stuff