The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Hot Summer Tales Part 2: Easy Riding, Hard Driving
Part two of Marvin's misadventures, involving a bag of cash, an old industrial building and bit of lateral thinking.
How that connects ? Well, read and find out ....
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I liked most of the BE in this. The different methods were all pretty interesting. I never really thought that Marvin was in danger though. It seems that dealing with a demon should be more risky than it has been so far.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

What a deliciously wickedly fun romp! You're one of the more creative authors I've seen here and would love to see more.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Very-well written and believable- except, as noted above, Marvin doesn't seem to be in any real danger despite it being emphasized a bit in the first meeting. The story itself isn't quite my thing, but it was enjoyable none the less. Also, it's nice to see some stories longer than two pages appearing again. Keep up the good work.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I was very pleased with the imagery and development of plot and characters. It reads so well. I like the balance of danger to the lead with control over his enemies, although it was better in the first one.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

A good story, but I enjoyed your first one more. Keep it up.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Enjoyed both stories, but enjoyed the first more. I like the descriptions, and your writing is pretty good overall. I agree that there should be a little more risk or danger present. And keep up the variety. Certainly makes the reading more interesting.
Basicly, keep up the good work.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Eh. Seems like the same story, except with no new discovery. I was hoping to see more on the concequences the guy is going to have to face. Also, there doesn't seem to be any drawbacks to having a succubus.

Stiletto XR13
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Since people want their story development a part BEFORE I can actually start on it, consider this entire story DEAD.
Part 3 WAS going to adress most of the concerns and gripes, but I feel VERY disinclined to continue work OR development on it.
I might do a few vignettes or shorties, but no more on HST.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

That is unfortunate. I thought the story pacing was fine and the description great and very orginal. Please, keep writing stories. Weather on this story world or another. You really do a great job.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I always wondered what it'd be like to have a succubus for a girlfriend, and outside of Krakow, I didn't think I'd ever get to see it. Well played and I hope to see future works with this succubus in it. Doesn't have to be the same guy, just more romps with her and other mortals.

Benji Dude
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Much the same as the first one but not as good.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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