The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Dodsons Dream: Victor 5
Next chapter in this spinoff series.  You get to see what Cindy has been up to.  I introduce Jamie, Katy, Jean and Lois along with a few more characters.   And Nancy gets her revenge.  
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

Story is comming along nicely still a few mispellings and I still like the stretching.

Benji Dude
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Getting better with every story. I got lost with who was saying what a couple of times but on the whole it's getting there. Might want to get someone to proof read your work, get those last few spelling mistakes.

Personally I don't like the present tense format, for me the past tense works best for these kinds of stories I think. One last niggles is that Nancy asks Nick what he changes to someone and Nick say's that he'll "tell her laterĂ¢â‚¬? and Nancy just goes with it. Imho Nancy would only ask if she curious about what happened and would push a little harder for an answer but that's just me, something to think about.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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