A short about a woman who gets a shot at being young, for the second time, and curvy, for the first time, and goes overboard making up for her unhappy youth. This is Part One with future parts to be released in the future. Visit bumpsgalore.tripod.com too, now celebrating 5000 hits in it's first week.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 2.56
- BE: 1.89
- Characters: 2.22
- Technical: 3.11
DD_Redshoes
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Not a bad little story. Seemed awefully breif though. Not too worry, am waiting with anticipation for the other parts of the story to see how it pans out.
MrHHH
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
One sentance of BE story. Ugh.
Angry Jerk
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Please post stories in HTML format. MS Word files mess up my computer.
Oh, your story needs a plot, character development, cohesive description, and a reason to exist.
I will give you points for the first use of the word "kooter" I have ever seen or heard since "The Dukes of Hazzard".
GrayFace
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I liked it. I hope for more.
The Toymaker
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
She gets a second chance and turns into a sex-starved bitch (as opposed to a merely empowered woman). The grammar might have been better than I ranked it, (Word didn't sem to have any problems with it) but after the sentence and a half of BE, she she wanted to do was screw or dominate everything in sight, (is there backstory that we don't know about? I know she says that she "didn't have what it took", was she spurned?) and I got bored. I skimmed it to the end, so I guess I can't really say that I've read it, but I read as much as I really needed to. Don't know if I'll tune in for the rest of it.
tj
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Seemed to have the motivation missing. Proofread.
The idea has potential and I hope more offerings are made.
rudeypunk
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
EZ
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Elbee
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
A very good premise, but it was missing physical description and discussion of the jy of becoming what she became.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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