The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Happy Birthday, Milly Carpenter
Milly, like so many other teenagers, is having a hard time in high school. What could improve the situation? How about unlimited wishes for the day?
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

This is a case where the story is better than the sum of its parts--much better, in fact. Not too serious, not too light, with a hint of magic fantasy that fits the BE world so well. I hope Gunslinger keeps writing like this. While his technical skill falls a little shy (I always grade hard on technical skill), his characters and BE make you forget you're reading a story, and it's plenty efficacious otherwise.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

This is the feel-good BE story of the year. It is nice to read something this light-hearted and positive.

My critique is for more description of the BE process, particularly that of the main characters who grew "off-stage." A story of this quality also deserves one last proof read; there are several mistakes that a spell checker can't fix.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

A very well written story, with believable people and reactions. Would like to see more. :)

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Very imaginative, well written, with good characters. A little more BE would be nice. Please write more.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: