Leon's old roommate wants to set him up with his girlfriend's friend. Enter Mary.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.91
- BE: 3.82
- Characters: 5.00
- Technical: 4.91
OphirExpansion
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Such a refreshing kind of story to see here! Very much looking forward to a part 2.
Hungryhobo
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
This is quite a good story. I guess its perhaps that the characters speak and have enjoyable interactions plot direction permitting. The star of the show is Mary and as such her personality and the way she talks is great! My only reservation is that Leon is written to be a bit too perfect. as it stands, they are written as intelligent, perfect at confrontation and martial arts, socially adept in every setting, etc. it would be interesting to at least see a male character that can be genuinely loved by the heroine, have their own shortcomings. If Mary herself is a flawed individual personality wise, I would also like Leon to have some issues of their own. just to add to the realism and deeper believeability of an otherwise fantastic scenario if that makes sense.
Freaky
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really quite sweet, hope this one goes on for a while
Mkr66
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Waiting for chapter 2 loving your writing
OdysseusII
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
So glad to see the To Be Continued at the end because I want so much more of them
ReadyWillingUnstable
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Reminds me of one of my favorite stories of all time! Eagerly awaiting a part 2, 3, 4!
Commandlz
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This is a fantastic story. I wish you'd put a little more emphasis on breast size. However your storyline and character development feels so good and natural. Their dialogue feels very real. You have a real gift. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
These are the kind of stories we need more of on this site, eagerly looking forward to the continuation of this story.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Absolutely the best story to come out in a long time! This needs a part 2, and more!
Sisiwbwusbs
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really enjoyed this, needs a part 2
sp1kegrw
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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