This is the first in a series of short stories following Evelyn & Jack. This chapter contains mind control (consensual), breast & nipple expansion, hourglass expansion, lip & tongue expansion and general sub and dom magical kinkiness. Suggestions for future chapters are always welcome in the comments!
If you like my work, find me on SwellTales and Deviantart as OphirExpansion!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.75
- BE: 4.50
- Characters: 4.75
- Technical: 4.75
Aylamb
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Great little story. Agree with Bubs about the clever consentplay, makes the characters more human, and with wisewhale21 that getting more of Evelyn's POV would be a particularly good addition to future stories. That would help flesh out her personality and how she thinks of Jack too.
Bubs
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
A hot little story. I especially liked, like the other commenter said, how much consent was in this. I liked how he felt guilty at first and kept pausing to make sure she was okay with the mind control. Too many stories with mind control have a person changing another against their will, or just taking advantage of them, and that makes me feel dirty, and not the fun kind of dirty.
wisewhale21
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
This is great! I love the consensual nature of it! Great concept! Would love it if there was more moments of Evelyn being aware while she is effected by the dollcommands. Excited to see the next chapter!
PurplePerry
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fantastic stuff. I hope to see more.
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