The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Valley Girl
A short story of some girl so big she fills a whole mountain valley, and is steadily outgrowing it still. Something to test the waters of expansion writing.
Average Scores:

Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
It seems like a solid outline of a story. With time it will get better. 
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Please don't take my rating the wrong way. The details were excellent, but since you were, as you put it, testing the waters by submitting a short story, it is lacking so much. I believe you have what it takes to do an excellent job on a complete story. If that's what you wanted to know, I vote yes. Go for it!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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