The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Wrendo Rellim
speciall bottles
Jason finds an abandboned lab and finds some magical potions
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
1st off, it was in ODT and I don't have open office. So didn't want to install that. Was finally able to use Calibre to convert to epub to read it. Felt the details and story line was rushed. I'm not a writer so please don't take this harshly. 
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
The spelling of 'special' in the title should have been a big enough red flag. The filename being a completely different person's name should have also clued me in. But I read it anyway so you don't have to. There's an idea here but, it slips through the well buttered grasp of the English language the author possesses. Whether that's due to English being a second language or the author was too busy jerking off while writing is hard to pin down. Either way, I'll be getting my hard drive space back after posting this.
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Not a bad first draft
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
This story needs some work, there's something interesting here but honestly it should have the weird tag and a TG tag for some of the transformations, and the overall quality feels like a rushed first draft. 
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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