Story about two sisters going through some changes... The story is written in first person from two POVs
I've been writing it since 2014 and I think it's fair to say my writing got better throughout. This contains the first 30 chapters.
Fair warning, it's 50-50 weight gain-breast expansion story
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.00
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 5.00
- Technical: 5.00
Bubs
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This story fails in its description of growth. The breasts and butt get bigger, but that's all we get. Every day they wake up and they're bigger, but we're not told how much. Occasionally we'd get a descriptor like as big as her head or her thighs were touching, but most of the rest of the time we had to guess how big the girls were. Something like how wide or deep they were in inches would have been helpful.
Ace
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Excellent! I only wish there was more. I'm not super into weight gain, but the descriptions are very good. Especially of Kate's growth. I found it a bit difficult to understand how big Jenny was getting throughout the story though. Great job and I really hope the story continues!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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