Two colleagues discover alien life, a symbiote that grows within human flesh.
A competition begins of each girls desire to be the biggest.
My first attempt at a story! Feedback would be appreciated.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.80
- BE: 4.60
- Characters: 4.40
- Technical: 4.00
Erratic Pigeon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I would say it was a very good first one for sure. I loved the very detailed description on the progress of their growth and there was a really good personal investment for the characters and love the idea of it. Definitely a cliff hanger of an ending for sure.
Good luck with future stories if you are cooking anything good
wildcards
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
An overall enjoyable read, looking forward to more of your writing
deuxanges
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Agree with the other commenters. Good work, likeable characters, good pace of BE. I can see a lot of possible new directions the basic premise could go. Maybe even belly expansion using the symbiotes.
breastenvyenjoyer
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Thoroughly enjoyed the set up of the story. I absolutely love breast envy and self controlled expansion. I only wished they stayed at some manegable size for longer and enjoyed their tits for longer. They had slightly over head sized juggs and almost immediately they could hardly walk because of their tits. I would wish they spend more of the story in between these two stages, dressing more and more provocatively, perhaps fucking around on the ship and generally competing for attention. Well done with the story anyway.
Rakki
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
A great start. Could use a proof read but I look forward to your next story!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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