I've listened to your valid criticism and revised Part 2 of Jillian's and Abby's story. As some pointed out rightfully, the focus should stay on those two character mainly. As well as on actual BE. This is what you'll find in this - hopefully improved - version and this is how the series will continue. The controversial part of the original version will be released on my deviantart page shortly, as a one-off, because some people happened to like it after all. Enjoy :)
PS: New render included.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.80
- Characters: 5.00
- Technical: 4.80
Maybeenuf4u
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Much improved! I just want to give a shoutout to a good writer. Keep up the good work keep writing.
whispery
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really good. I like this much much more than the previous version, and I think this is headed in the right direction.
Something that youve done a great job with here, and that I hope you continue with, is discussing all the ways in which having huge and growing boobs cause inconveniences in ones daily life. Thats something I always love to read about.
whispery
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really good. I like this much much more than the previous version, and I think this is headed in the right direction.
Something that youve done a great job with here, and that I hope you continue with, is discussing all the ways in which having huge and growing boobs cause inconveniences in ones daily life. Thats something I always love to read about.
PreviouslyCritic
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I am one of those who criticised the first version. This is a huge improvement. I love Jilian especially. There is only one thing better than a thin, tall girl sporting massive chest and that is thintallbusty and super obsessed with herself, her looks and most importantly obsessed with her boobs as they grow. I love your character Jillian, partying and eating her boobs out. On the other hand I kind of dislike Abby, I usually skip her sections.
I wonder if the story turns into some pandemic of all women growing huge and I hope not. If everybody is rich, nobody is rich. It is much sexier if only one woman grows and others dont, this makes her that much sexier. Hence, I would much prefer if only Jillian and Abby grow, or even better only Jillian grows and becomes the confident tit queen of the school as she always wanted to be.
Overall great job and I absolutely love the render.
serenmo
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I'm only halfway through but this is already far better than the first version. Thank you. Please continue in this style. And the next chapter will be Jilian POV again or?
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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