The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

ExpansionWriterr
Erins Growing Guru
Erin started a new class downtown. He gives her a supplement to take home-- homework, he calls it-- and she gets to find out what it does for her.
Average Scores:

RX
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
Lots of potential, zero follow through. This feels like a first draft that is far from ready to be posted, but perhaps some day when you finish the story.
brit
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I'm so angry at you for leaving it on this cliff hanger.  I really, really like the way this is going.  The guru thing, the parents bringing him, etc, is weird and doesn't add anything but the descriptions are great and I love the greedy attitude.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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