After Countess Elira turns him down, Clay the net-mender has a mystery visitor of his own, with some very big magic lessons to offer him…
As before, if the response is positive, I will upload more soon!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.80
- BE: 4.40
- Characters: 4.60
- Technical: 4.80
Trevor
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Another very strong chapter I would love to eventually have the magic system fleshed out, but the plot is shaping up quite nicely and I love how this is developing
Revealer
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Hey, I liked this chapter more than the first one, even if I am not generally a fan of such short episodes loosely connected to a greater plot. However I appreciate the worldbuilding you are trying to create, and am a fan of transformations which are more than just BE. My gripe with the chapter are that the transformation was very fast and a little too big, leaving maybe some problems for future size increases. But please continue writing!
Firebeard
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
deuxanges
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
An excellent second chapter, it's got me wanting more. If I may just make a very small suggestion, I thought the BE was a bit too large this early in the story, assuming it wasn't all just Clay's dream. Nevertheless, it was a very nice read, and am eagerly anticipating the next instalment.
Hoop
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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