Scarlet is a junior in college, just trying to get through until she discovers a little black notebook that is magically placed in her locker. Her world opens up wide when she discovers that this notebook can grant any bodily wish that she desires.
This is my first ever BE story. I tried to explore a few different concepts while working. This is what I consider chapters 1 and 2 of the story. I'm always willing to hear suggestions for new wishes that she could write down in her notebook.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 3.75
- Characters: 3.75
- Technical: 3.25
Hellowww
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I loved it! Very imaginative and such a simple premise.
I think it would be more interesting if the new rules were more restrictive so we have more conflict for the characters. Nothing permanent but maybe a time based rule which ends at the end of the day.
Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
You can tell that this is a first draft. But it is a great story nonetheless! After some editing, I'm sure it'll be even better!
Sandman
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
This is a fun read with some good, imaginative threads. However, the descriptions are too short and sparse, and really need to be lengthened and fleshed out. Accuracycontinuity is lacking, for example the protagonist is described as pudgy but not fat, but then loses 50 pounds to bring her to her right weight. The worst part is that it appears the author did not proofread it at all as there are major spelling and grammatical errors, and typos, in every sentence, making it hard to read. This really takes away from the story. With expanded descriptions and effective editing and proofreading, the author's work would be much more enjoyable.
BEGuy2021
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A great story for your first go at it! I'd be very interested to see what else happens in coming chapters. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors, but nothing egregious. I like your descriptions of the transformations.
If you enjoy writing things like this, keep at it!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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