Subjected to an experimental serum, a sad nerd's genetic structure warps itself to the subconscious desires & fetishes of horny tiddy-obsessed bronies.
Grammar and description are done fairly well, and the basic idea is excellent. Jusy a shame it had to be written by someone who is apparently clinging to stuff their high school bully said about them.
It got worse and more angry as it went on.
I liked this overall pausing in growth stages and dealing with being different sizes was a nice take a combination of slow and fast growth. I think it lost a little bit as there was some confusion for me as far as which point of view this was being written from initially it seemed to shift from first to third person but I easily got over it. Well done
I just checked the author's comment section on fimfiction, and even after reading his response to the comments regarding the beginning and epilogue, I'm still scratching my head. I don't think there's anything deep or meaningful in regards to social or political commentary more like a window into the author's mind and the myriad of things they've experienced on the internet. The same goes with the author's art account he takes drawings done by other artists and redraws them with a MLP character the Hamakaze ones are the most obvious. Stephen truly reads like the kind of person who hangs out on 4chan and all of the western fetish sites that steal Japanese media. So I chuckled when it got to the 2nd chapter and I realised that the whole first chapter was someone actually delving into the mind of such a person. The main body of the story makes it easy to forget what sort of person Stephen was until the end when he mentally returns and started describing his apartment and babies. One piece of criticism that is unforgivable is the blatant disregard to how bra cup sizes translate to actual breast volume. Kcup breasts aren't THAT big, unless everyone in this world had taken a trip to the witchdoctor, and even when breasts extend to Zcup territory, they're only going to be competing with the head volume of a normal human, not an animestyle caricature.
The comments and terrible ratings so far seem to be from people who were so put off by the darkness and stream of consciousness writing in the beginning that they didn't get to the part of the story that makes it belong on this site. Their opinions are irrelevant as they didn't even read the focus of the work. Aside from the darkness at the beginning and end, all of the content in between was enjoyable and pretty high quality. People instinctively try to insert themselves into the viewpoint of the character when reading first person works, so starting off by bashing bronies and going darker from there is a really unenjoyable way to begin a first person story. Also, snuff really crosses the line from being hot into being revulsive for the vast majority of people. I'd recommend against writing about it here as this community is mostly not into that kink. Rework the beginning to be less negative and drop the snuff and the rest is gold.
I did like the style and darkness of the writing. A few parts got a little sidetracked from the action, and I probably would have preferred if it wasn't bronycentric you could have the same storyline at just a normal con, without all the furry stuff. Would be interested to see anything more!
Angry, meanspirited, dehumanizing, and preaching to a choir which consists of the writer.
This story is as cringe as bronies.
Extremely hateful towards bronies. A bit way too weird and a lot of text that is just filling out a word counter like the list of a bunch of people in the last chapter that doesn't anything to the narrative. Can't even consider it a story since it's mostly structured as stage playscript and seems the author is just blurting words without paying attention to cohesion or even a structured narrative.
Starts off a little slow and with some boring or questionablypaced elements, but it really picks up around chapter 5. I love how dark it gets, but the stuff with the Rarity and Twilight and Fluttershy transformations was particularly awesome. Definitely unfocused towards the beginning tho, which hurts it overall, but fuuuuck does it get good later on. Focus a bit more, get to the point cut out the excess tho next time looking forward to more !!
I was trying to ignore the terrible stream of consciousness that blurred between multiple characters until I got to the part about the assistant. Not only is her fate horrific, it's stupidly wasteful. With that kind of tech they just need a small sample that could be easily replicated. Couldn't bring myself to read anymore of this trash.
Really really solid work. Some parts were a little gratuitous and the characters and overall feel was very dark, but that's how it should be IMHO. Seriously impressive!