Mikey tries to break in a new ballpoint pen, reality changes as a result.
First part of a series I'm trying to do. First time poster so any feedback would be helpful.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.30
- BE: 3.30
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 4.20
Mango Tree
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Good work! I'd love to read more!
blank
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
not bad
witch is to say also not good
but all things can get better with time.
so please add more
tv5400
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Nightshade
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very nice. I really like this, and really hope you continue. And hopefully Haley ends up a lot bigger than a C cup when you do!
One tip though, the lack of line breaks between paragraphs makes it really hard to read on mobile.
ched
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great job, hope there is more on the way!
Everything Matters
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Your style is decent, but like some people are saying, this is probably too short. Saying that comes with the assumption that this didnt take very long to write, and if it did you may want to practice more.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
My only complaint is that it was too short!
alter reality
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Catfish
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
This could have used some copy editing some of the wording is a little garbled, there are a few punctuation and capitalization issues, and it could probably be broken up into paragraphs a bit better, and I'm waiting to see what the part with Cait and her cereal has to do with the rest of the story... but I do love a realityaltering tale, and this one certainly appears to have potential.
Big Cheese
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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