The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Uknown Worlds Cruise 2
Chet has gone off the deep and the changes are starting to get weirder and more mysterious. 
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
This story has real potential and can be taken in an a number of directions with a myriad of possibilities.
So many questions.  

The BE is a little lackluster but it is there. The focus does seen to be on other aspects though. 

The characters seem a little flat but this might be the author not wanting to reveal to much to soon. There has been some attempt at character development but more is needed. Personality and motivation play a driving force in a good story. 

There were a few spelling mistakes but nothing major. 
The formatting of the dialogue was a bit strange. Written dialogue is often tricky. 

You are off to a good start but the chapters are a bit short. 
Short, not in the time line, but in overall development of the time line. 

On a very positive note, I really do like a rtf or docx format.
I can change the font and size my eyes are bad. I can change the background color to make it less harsh on the eyes. I often read at night. These formats are easily customizable leading to a relaxed read.
I can also combine multiple chapters into a single file 

Good job. I look forward to the next chapters. 

I left you a comment at DA but it wasn't easy.
Their new format sucks big balls. It also makes new people finding you almost impossible. 



Roid Abuser
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Interesting.  Hope Chet gets to staybecome a 7 ft tall stud either on the boat or back in reality.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: