Lulu stumbles across a cavern hidden within Ball's Pyramid and quickly finds herself transforming into the picture of femininity deep within the pyramid's oasis.
Chapter one of likely three. Open to suggestions for following chapters.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 4.17
- Characters: 4.33
- Technical: 3.67
wonkersnitlz
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Rags To Napkins
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I love the pregnancy aspect and don't mind futa, as long as there is no pregnant futa. I have read a few stories along the lines of someone grows and can spread the growth to others and enjoyed them alot, however many go the same road of making the other characters basically thralls to the main one and I would love to see a story where everyone maintains their individuality a bit.
I enjoyed your description of her clothes and how they interacted with her as she grew, really helps with visualization.
Just my 2c love the story so far and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future!
Great except spacing
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 2
Great story but wow the txt format was tough. Was worth it to put my own spacing as I read through it but would be worth fixing. Agreed on the no futa by the way, not really what this site is about. It's your story but if you could make it separate I bet it would be appreciated.
Anon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I like the story so far, hope to see more. Only thing of note, there were random instances of years scattered throughout the text. Dunno what that was about, but otherwise very good.
Please no futa. At least, if it is coming, maybe make a separate version that doesn't have it?
bobinads
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Fantastic story, I'm absolutely looking forward to more, especially if futa stuff does come into play. Not the biggest fan of the .txt format though, it's hard to read. Exporting as a PDF from Word, or even just keeping it in .doc format would work a lot better.
Ihhb
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I like where this is going, keep it up!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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