The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Madam Materia
A Madam Materia commission. "True love is coming," words that James has seen his whole life. With nothing but struggle to look forward to, our protagonist suddenly finds himself with a decision to make. Continue trying to climb the ladder for a better life, or take a monster for his bride and give up his world to her.
Average Scores:

Imma goddamn superstar
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
This comment is a comment of Imma Goddamn Superstar.

A Madam Materia commission.... You know we can read the author name. That's maybe why we're here because we can read in the first place!
So stop announcing yourself like you're such a superstar and so relevant that the very 1st thing we should know about your story is that it is A Madam materia commission.... 
This is cringe, this looks pedant and most importantly  How the hell it gives a teasing about the story itself ?!

Are you reading in every plot description of a moviebook on internet It's a insert author commission ?
No, you don't. And you know why? Because nobody cares in a supposedly plot description. 
And AGAIN, we're not blind, we can read RIGHT THERE who wrote it.

Oh, by the way, this comment is a comment of Imma Goddamn Superstar
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
It took me a couple rereads to follow the first couple paragraphs of dialogue so I was a bit confused at first, but once I got situated I quite liked it. I do wonder what was so special about our protagonist, but perhaps it doesn't matter he's a good sort of fellow and it's easy to feel happy for him. Just clean up my bed, fucking you my wife... to smooth out the intro and this is all 5s in my eyes.
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Wonderful story Madam.
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
One of my favourite stories from you, hitting all the right spots. The characters were likeable and had some depth, though not too deep and descriptions of everything were great even though I feel you couldve explored them more. Maybe more comparisons or seeing how much they change this. But ultimately a great story, and if you have more like this then people will be very happy. 
Violated Hero
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
1010 would get raped and colonized again
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
This was lovely! I loved the tenderness and likeability of the characters depicted, despite the dark undertones and possibilities hinted at by the ending. More like this, please 
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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