Sarah inherits a magical talisman from her grandmother that gives her the ability to grow her boobs on command. If the talisman is taken off with changed boobs, she won’t be able to change them back for 24 hours. How will Sarah use the Boob Talisman?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 1.80
- BE: 1.20
- Characters: 1.60
- Technical: 2.60
b
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
dont submit until you actually have a story. you ask how will she use it...but then don't show how she actually does
Gnarl
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
This is a good premise for a story, but you hurt yourself by calling it a chapter. You set up expectations 2 pages just couldn't deliver.
I like where this could go, but you need to breathe life into this. Sure, the heroine wants tits, bit she and the other characters are more than just boob greed. For example she's in love with her grandma's juggs, but why? Is it because she was good to the heroine, because she commanded respect with them, or was or was it some innate feminity that she admired?
No
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Waste of time to read this.
Ninja In The Night
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
It lacks a story. It's pretty much read in the timeframe of 3 minutes and has no buildup. It can be worked on, but as is is only there if you really want a quick fix.
JB
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
Way too short, not descriptive at all, dont waste your time on this
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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