Welcome to Madam Materia's Magical Menagerie. A misguided nun makes her way into our midst in today's story, searching for more than what her life has offered to her thus far. Will it truly be what she's after however?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.50
- Characters: 5.00
- Technical: 5.00
BillDemon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Well done, this is one that I keep coming back to.
Diplodocus
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Just my opinion, but clearly your strongest work yet.
Thank you for continuing to post to TOB. Having earlier read your comments about feedback over on Reddit, I offer some brief constructive comments.
BE is a 4 not because of size in fact my preference is believable sizes, but because the descriptions of the growth as it happens are relatively short. It doesn't detract from the overall story, and I do appreciate that this can get repetitive.
Characters were a strong aspect. I thought if anything our protagonist probably changed their world view a little quickly given that they have been groomed a certain way their whole life. Although there was some angst it all happened rather quickly. I also wonder what Gabe is really doing in that place they seem very comfortable undermining the system.
I really appreciated your emphasis on respect and consent from ser Knight.
I wonder whether the mirror creates myriad small upgrades or improvements other than the BE and whether these could have been expounded further
Technically can't ask for much more, I think I caught 2 typos. The writing particularly in the exposition was good enough to take me out of the story and think wow, this part is well written.
Geno
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
One of the best stories I've read in a while
Zero Night
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really, really liked this story BE, themes, characterizations, all practically perfect. Thank you.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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