The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

B.A.P. Inc.
Build-A-Partner: Grand Opening
Build-A-Partner offers a one-of-a-kind, custom makeover to anyone who can afford it. Despite a rocky beginning, their first customers are in for a pleasant surprise.
Average Scores:

Shineman
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great start, and lots of possibilities
Nick Tammer
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Congratulations, very nice story. Keep it that way, please do not make the mistake to grow them tits the size of houses or lactation like a cow. Keep it simple, get more customers to the altering lab and so on.
vicious
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fantastic story! Can't wait to see where you go from here!
Browser
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
God I love this kind of reality alteration. I want to see this get truly out of hand. Change them in ways that simply isnt possible in real life  a waist thats far smaller than what should be suitable for breasts that size. Plastic surgery. Clothing requirements that affect their life in unpredictable ways mandatory heels  how does she take showers?

As others have said, some kind of denouement, or just desserts, would be nice. Perhaps the user is unable to pay, so Barton changes the user as well or Barton makes himself the husband?. Or perhaps the changes performed enormous breasts, etc make her no longer interested in the man as a lover  she can do so much better now. 

Just ideas! Great concept here, hope you keep putting out content. 
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
As others have said, this is an excellent first start. Please continue. IMO you ended the story right when it was getting good. Keep it up don't stop I know how hard it is to write an erotic short story. 
JustAReader
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Please, amke more
Long Time Lurker
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
I never really post reviews for anything, but I just wanted to say that you should definitely make more, with more detail and less preamble please.
MORE
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
OH GOD I NEED MORE
MAKE MORE PLEASE 
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH
Frig
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Im biased in two ways. One is that awareness of the change is the hottest part of it for me, which I think is just a matter of taste. The other is that Barton and Greg are terrible people. If there had been turnabout so that Cecilia mark II got a crack at altering Greg, that would have made me feel a lot better about it all, besides offering an opportunity for more sexy fun.
Morg
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Okay, I loooove more uptight, basic characters going through these oblivious changes. Granted I'm more into the reality altering than the BE itself but you have such a good way with words when it comes to describing changes in a sexy waybut with humor, too. Your writing makes me laugh! In a good way. And it's easy to follow, I love Barton's attitude throughout the process. I'd love to see more
Madam Materia
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Not a bad first outting. Need a bit of tightening around sentences, the semicolon is your friend, and cutting paragraphs appropriately. Character score is more reflective of my personal tastes, so don't think too much on it.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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